


The Ghost Fuckers

by Mirviana, Senseiiii



Category: Persona 4
Genre: Other, ghost fuckers, who u gonna call
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-01
Updated: 2016-05-01
Packaged: 2018-06-05 15:25:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6710602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mirviana/pseuds/Mirviana, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Senseiiii/pseuds/Senseiiii
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>persona au that instead of the midnight channel they mess around with ghosts and stuff idk<br/>it was a good thought</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Ghost Fuckers

dew glistened on the grass, the sun was on the other side of the earth because it was night time. the coolio investigators were doing some spooky investigations because that's just how they do   
and they get paid for this so why not. work benefits.  
they're ghost investigators. not to be confused with ghostbusters; there's a difference.

yu narukami moved to this shitty ass town because of his shitty ass parents who dont love him. the town is inaba or something like that and it's haunted to fuck. inaba more like inaboring   
amiright. the only interesting thing is yosuke and yosuke only but he doesnt talk to yu anymore because they're best friends which makes no sense but ok. anyways, nobody else is really all that   
interesting, like fuck kanji. what an asshoel.  
chie shouts a lot which would be fine if it didnt pierce his eardrums and yukiko is just yukiko.  
other people? lmao there's nobody else  
nanako's also kind of cool but kind of edgy so fuck nanako (don't actually)

SO ANYWAYS  
yu had this bomb ass idea to fuck around with the ghosts and everyone but yosuke was down for it. they were thinking of calling their new show "ghost adventures" but that was taken by a few   
shitty ass americans  
so instead they're just "the ghost fuckers"  
they all have codenames.  
yu is blueberry  
yosuke is lemon (lmao)  
chie is banana  
yukiko is strawberry  
kanji is grape  
and fuck everyone else they dont get nicknames.

their equipment was only the best they had. and by that i mean they had flip phones and some children's toys like a boom box with built in microphone.

they broke into some old sad guys house who is said to be haunted by said sad man. by looking at his pictures which he has everywhere for some odd fucking reason he looks fucking weird.   
messy hair, crooked tie, ugly as hell face. he just looked like the worst kind of guy to be around.  
after digging around in his dressers for a while they found out a few things.

first of all, he has a tiny dick and even smaller nipples. ew.  
they found his nudes, he probably sends them to people at random or sells them like girl scout cookies. obviously nobody wanted them because there were a lot in there. yu decided to keep   
these for later. no homo.

"dude what the fuck" yosuke questioned his motives.  
"don't fucking question me lemON. it's for science"  
"OK DAMN GOD"

and that was the end of that.

kanji doesnt like it when his parents fight like this so he is crying.

he ran away from them all dramatic-like because kanji is that way and like his tears are sparkly and there were bubbles it was super anime. desu.  
they'll find him later.

yu set the boom box on the floor and turned it on after giving an anime thumbs up to the camera-flip phone which was being held by yosuke. theyre too poor to afford a normal camera or a   
smart phone. snapchat is email.  
"can you tell us who is here with us?" yu asked, holding the microphone into the air

after a few seconds they pressed the replay button.

after hearing yu ask the same question it was followed by a soft "cabbage."  
"YOSUKE DID YOU HEAR THAT HIS NAME IS CABBAGE!" yu yelled, forgetting about codenames because im too lazy to keep up with them.  
"dude his name is literally adachi it says so right here." yosuke showed him a paper with some big writing on it that read "I AM ADACHI". he found it on the floor or something who knows. it's written in a mysterious red liquid but it's probably just kool-aid.

"it's cabbage."  
"okay fine."

yu held out the microphone again, taking the nudes out of his pocket and held them up too. "is this your tiny penis, cabbage-san?"  
again, after replaying it all the ghost said was "cabbage".

yu stared intently at the boom box. "i think... AND THIS IS ONLY A GUESS... I THIIINK... this ghost likes cabbage..."  
yosuke stared for a minute exactly before talking. "woooow senpai, you're so smart. i could have never come to that conclusion. genius!"

obviously he had to make yu feel good about himself. it's what bros do.  
yu doesnt know what he's doing.

just then kanji ran in, but yu was in the middle of a question so now he's anger.  
"guys look what i found!" kanji yelleld like a manly man, he is smart.

it was a pair of pink frilly panties.  
yu grabbed them with his long arm and put them on his head. "i'm taking these into custody."  
he doesn't know what that means.  
dojima probably said it and he thought it sounded cool.  
he wants to be like dojima.

and then kanji died right there.  
but that's fine.  
he also landed face down with his butt up so yosuke and yu laughed at him but yosuke had a boner..  
he dismissed it with a no homo.  
all is good  
nice butt doe

yu continued to ask his question when they heard a cough and of course yu gets an anger about that  
he threw a titty fit

"WHAT THE FUCK YOSUKE YOU FUCKED IT UP WITH YOUR GAY ASS COUGH" HE YELL

"that wasn't me dude..."

they stared at each other sensually  
yu scoots closer  
their foreheads are touching now  
so tender  
and then they screamed and ran out of the house  
but they grabbed their stuff dont worry  
and they were holding hands because fuckin GAY

they hopped into their van where chie and yukiko were waiting.

"where's kanji?" yukiko asked.  
"he's fucking dead who cares." yu mackled

they drove away while yosuke and chie reviewed the footage.  
it's fucking terrible.

in the footage it seems like mr cabbage had a laughing fit so bad that his ghost died and became a ghost ghost.  
their fucking around was too funny for him apparently.  
also they left kanji's body.

"to be honest you guys suck at this." chie screamed like usual.  
"what? i thought we were really good." yu muttered because he's a quiet bitch and also he's crying inside. he gets into it dont judge him

"yukiko and i have been doing other investigations on the side and that's what we've been putting into the show instead."

yosuke is so offended that he tries to slap her but slaps himself instead.  
and then the car crashes and they die the end

also teddie and naoto are ghosts too but im fuckin lazy so that's for another story.

**Author's Note:**

> im sorry
> 
> no i'm not i wrote this shit in comic sans
> 
> senseiiii is kinkshaming me for this


End file.
